


Clandestine

by raichanxd



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Obikaka endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:54:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raichanxd/pseuds/raichanxd
Summary: “Um,” Obito starts, “I’m not having an affair with Gai’s boyfriend, but—” Asuma whips around and automatically gives Obito a bewildered stare.“But,”Obito emphasizes again,“but,if, hypothetically, I was having an affair with Gai’s boyfriend, and I wanted to tell Gai that I am, um, hypothetically having an affair with his boyfriend, how should I do it?” Obito pauses. “Hypothetically. Of course.”
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 40
Kudos: 122





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This fic contains cheating.

Obito isn’t easily annoyed.

He likes to think of himself as a fairly patient person, especially considering the fact that most of his friends are persistent, irritating bastards. Obito is almost sure that he’s the most patient man on this planet, so when Gai comes to him for the _fourteenth_ time begging him to join him on his stupid blind date, Obito believes that he has the right to be at least a little annoyed.

“It’s free dinner, man! You’ve never said no to free dinner before!” Gai whines, pulling childishly at Obito’s shirt sleeve as Obito moves around their apartment’s kitchen in an effort to prepare himself a decent breakfast.

“Even free dinner isn’t worth it if it means having to hold awkward conversations with someone I barely know,” Obito murmurs as he searches for a clean pan. “Besides, I’m not interested in a relationship at the moment.” That’s a lie, because Obito is lonely as shit, but he’d rather not admit that to someone like Gai, who is just about the definition of desperation.

“You don’t actually have to date the other person if you don’t like him,” Gai tells him, watching as Obito disinterestedly heats the pan on the stove. “Just do it for me, man! You owe me for last time anyways!”

 _“Last time?”_ Obito repeats with an incredulous look on his face. He almost feels violated by the absurdity of the accusation. “When was the last time you ever did anything for me?”

Gai pauses, thick eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration as he leans against the counter. The fact that he even has to think about it only proves how useless he is to Obito. “Didn’t I help you get that one job?”

“No, but you did help me get _fired_ from it,” Obito spits, turning to bitterly crack some eggs. He honestly doesn’t understand how he and Gai are still friends. “I’m not interested, dude. Find someone more desperate than me to accompany you on your weird blind date.”

“It’s tomorrow!” Gai yells over the sizzle of eggs on a pan. “My date said he wouldn’t show up unless I had someone to pair with his best friend or whatever. It’s weird to me, too, okay? I’d rather not have you there to kill my style, but if that’s what it takes…”

Obito scoffs at the word _style,_ poking at his eggs with his chopsticks. “Why would you even agree to something like that? Blind dates are fucking stupid. Even _you_ could do better than a blind date.”

“I just think it’s more exciting this way,” Gai says, tone defensive as Obito stirs the eggs around in the little pan. “The only thing I know about this guy is his name, age, and occupation. The rest is a mystery. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“No, it sounds like the exact opposite of fun,” Obito retorts. “What’s his name anyways?”

Gai instantly perks up. “Hatake Kakashi, 22. He’s still a student, but he interns as a photographer for a popular fashion magazine,” he recites perfectly, and Obito briefly wonders just how long Gai has been stalking this guy’s profile.

Obito sets the lid over his pan, turning the heat down on the stove. “What about his friend?”

“Umino Iruka, 21. I don’t really know what he does, but I assume he’s a student, too.” Gai shrugs his shoulders, clearly less interested in Iruka than he was with Kakashi. “Look, you don’t even have to look at Iruka, or even Kakashi, for that matter. Just show up, smile a little, eat the _free_ food, and then leave. Then you’ll never have to do anything like this for me again.” Gai pauses, appearing to be considering something before he adds, “I’ll do whatever you want if you do this! Anything! I promise!”

Obito snorts, walking back to the fridge to grab himself a glass of one of those dumb protein shakes Gai always makes but never finishes. He really is starting to reevaluate his old decision to move in with Gai. What was he thinking, honestly? The asshole always manages to somehow drag Obito into his irreversible messes, and this just sounds like another one of them.

“Like I haven’t heard _that_ before,” Obito mutters before a thought suddenly crosses his mind. Now that he thinks about it, there _is_ something Gai can do for him. Something Obito has been avoiding to do himself for a very long time. He turns back to face Gai, protein shake in one hand and the other on his hip. “I’ll agree to go on this blind date with you on one condition.”

The look of hope in Gai’s eyes is almost pathetic. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

Gai’s jaw drops, and suddenly he is patting Obito’s back as if they’re the greatest friends in the world. “Well, well, well, Obito! I knew you’d come through for me—”

“On _one_ condition, Gai,” Obito sternly repeats, eyes narrowing in warning at his overbearing roommate.

Gai claps his hands together. “Ah, yes, of course.” He grins. “What can I do for you, my absolutely amazing and lovely and handsome and—” Obito splashes a bit of the protein shake towards Gai’s direction just to get him to shut up. Gai lets out a gasp as the lumpy liquid splatters the floor tiles. “You’re cleaning that up, you bastard—”

“I’ll go on that stupid double date with you if you pay off Asuma for me,” Obito finally states, and Gai’s eyes immediately widen in alarm.

“What?” Gai looks as if he’s ready to faint on the spot. “I can’t do that! I don’t have that kind of money!”

“What?” Obito mocks. “Neither do I, genius. But you make more money than me, and I can’t keep hiding from Asuma forever! His texts about the money I owe him get more and more menacing every day.” Obito chugs a good bit of the protein shake down in an effort to dispel his anxieties at the mere reminder of Asuma’s semi-threatening messages, grimacing at the sour taste. “This has to end, man. I can’t keep sleeping with one eye open all the time, man. I’m even afraid to look outside sometimes, man. It’s driving me _insane, man.”_

Gai glares at Obito for a few moments, eyes shifting side to side as if weighing a price. It seems the desire to go on this blind date wins.

 _“Fine, man,”_ Gai begrudgingly agrees, shoulders slumping in defeat. “I’ll barely be able to afford to take Kakashi out on future dates, but whatever, I guess.”

Obito raises an eyebrow. “Are you expecting to take this guy out on more than one date?”

Gai shrugs. “Just a feeling.”

Obito lets out an amused scoff, somehow finding Gai even more stupid now that he knows Gai actually thinks this date will work out.

“What if he’s ugly?” Obito questions with a snort, imagining Gai eating dinner with a realistic rendition of Patrick Star. “I mean, it is a blind date. He might be even uglier than _you!”_ He lets out an obnoxious laugh. “What are you going to do?”

Gai narrows his eyes. “Very funny, asshole. But he’s not going to be ugly.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Gai shrugs once more. “Just a feeling.”

“Ha,” Obito snorts again, amusement and doubt evident in his tone. “He’s _totally_ going to be ugly.”

-

Obito was wrong.

Kakashi definitely _isn’t_ ugly.

In fact, he is the absolute opposite of ugly, Obito plainly realizes when he finds that he is physically incapable of closing his mouth at the mere sight of Gai’s blind date.

Hatake Kakashi is absolutely gorgeous.

Obito tries to remember the last time he’s ever seen someone so beautiful, someone who glowed with such a warm and inviting energy even through the dimmed lighting of this subpar restaurant. Kakashi’s hair had a frayed softness to it, a stunning shade of silver, and his grey eyes are so wonderfully deep yet endearingly bright. Even his lips were mesmerizing, a sweet pink that matched the flush of the sky at dawn with a tiny beauty mark just below the left corner.

Obito takes a furtive glance at his friend by his side, wondering how, out of the 7.8 billion people on this planet, did Maito Gai manage to score such a beauty? This blind date is probably the most amount of luck Gai will ever score in his entire life. And apparently, Gai is thinking the same thing, Obito’s disaster of a roommate practically drooling as Kakashi gives him a smile so infectiously endearing he’s sure Gai might implode at the sight of it.

“Uhm, hello?”

Oh, yeah. Obito almost forgot that he had his own blind date to tend to. It takes him a couple tries to fully tear his gaze away from Kakashi’s pretty smile, but once Obito does, he finds himself staring into a pair of impassive eyes. Obito blinks a bit, only then realizing that he doesn’t remember his date’s name.

“Hi,” Obito offers, just barely scanning over his date’s features before his gaze automatically trails back to Kakashi, who is now laughing at whatever that dumbass Gai said.

“I’m Iruka,” his date attempts to introduce himself, but Obito only hums in semi-acknowledgement. “You’re…Obito, right?”

“Hi,” Obito says again, not even bothering to hide how obviously distracted he is. He briefly wonders what type of guys Kakashi likes.

“Oh my god,” Iruka utters beneath his breath, rolling his eyes in a knowing manner, but Obito doesn’t seem to notice, too busy gaping at Kakashi’s perfectly smooth and unblemished skin, a fine dust of rose highlighting his smiling cheeks.

Kakashi then suddenly turns to look at him, Obito’s breath hitching in his throat when their eyes finally meet. The gorgeous male seems to pause for a second, pupils dilating ever so slightly before he displays his award-winning smile once more. Kakashi gracefully extends a hand out to Obito, and the stupid thought that he’s receiving a blessing from an angel suddenly crosses Obito’s mind, but he quickly shakes it away, tentatively taking Kakashi’s hand in his own. The softness of Kakashi’s palm nearly causes Obito to phase into another plane of existence.

“Thanks for coming, Obito,” Kakashi beams, and Obito almost collapses at the mere sound of his name on that beautiful tongue. Now, if that isn’t the sweetest voice Obito has ever heard—“Iruka’s a little shy, so please treat him well.”

Oh, right. His date. Obito glances back at the mentioned male.

“Right, treat _me_ well,” Iruka murmurs with a roll of his eyes, and Kakashi elbows his friend playfully.

“Excuse him if he comes across as rude,” Kakashi continues with a smile so angelic that Obito suddenly feels compelled to empty out his pockets and donate his entire life’s savings to a church, “he’s still a little bitter about his last ex.”

Iruka snorts. “Right, sure, it’s my ex that I’m bitter about.” He then gives Obito an annoyed look, to which Obito only blinks.

“Please, Iruka. Play nice,” Kakashi lightly chastises him, but Iruka barely looks at him.

“Are you guys going to let go of each other any time soon?” Iruka monotonously asks, abruptly pointing at Obito and Kakashi’s connected hands.

“Oh!” Kakashi immediately retracts his hand, cheeks glowing a soft pink as he gives Obito a bashful smile. Obito then stupidly realizes that his mouth is still open, and he shuts it, returning the other’s look with the most attractive smirk he can muster. Kakashi’s breath seems to catch, his own lips parting ever so slightly in awe as he stares quietly back at Obito.

The sound of someone clearing their throat breaks the two out of their trance, and Obito glances back at his roommate beside him. He almost feels offended when he has to look at Gai after being blessed by the sight of Kakashi.

Gai eyes Obito strangely, and Obito quickly looks away. A few seconds pass in awkwardly tense silence before Gai turns back to Kakashi and offers him a hand. “Shall we?” he asks in a tone so superficially princely that Obito has to resist the urge to gag.

Kakashi lets out a little laugh, one hand covering his simper as the other takes Gai’s, dipping his head in a playful bow. Gai chuckles at the gesture, a stupidly wide smile on his face as he guides Kakashi to their designated table.

 _…Lucky bastard,_ Obito thinks bitterly to himself, eyes narrowing at his friend who is practically melting under Kakashi’s gaze. Stupid Gai and his stupidly smug smile – Obito knows Gai knows he’s got the hottest catch in the world, and he can bet a good amount of money that Gai is going to brag about it to him later tonight. Bastard, Obito would like to shove his fist right up Gai’s—

“Hey,” Obito hears, abruptly torn out of his semi-murderous thoughts. When he turns, Iruka is staring straight at him.

 _Oh yeah,_ Obito stupidly remembers again, and he offers up his own arm for his date to take, brandishing an awkward smile.

Iruka stares blankly at Obito for a moment before rolling his eyes. “I’ll tolerate you for Kakashi’s sake,” he suddenly says to no one in particular, making no move to accept Obito’s stiff invitation.

Obito blinks, awkwardly lowering his rejected arm. “Uh…what?” Obito asks with a confused laugh, not exactly sure of what Iruka meant by that.

“Nothing,” Iruka mutters before turning to head for their table with Gai and Kakashi. Obito watches him leave in bewilderment, glancing around the restaurant as if wondering if anyone else had witnessed that. When no one else seems to share in his befuddlement, he shrugs it off, hurrying to join the other three males at the table.

Obito rushes to pull Iruka’s chair out for him in an attempt to be somewhat courteous to his date, but all he receives back is a narrow side-eye in return. Obito tries another smile but is promptly ignored, so he runs back around the table to take his seat next to Gai, trying his best not to meet Iruka’s judgmental stare.

A soft conversation between Gai and Kakashi provides the perfect ambience for menu browsing, Obito only then realizing how hungry he actually is. Delighted with the fact that Gai will be paying for his dinner, Obito spends the next few minutes in absolute silence, intent on finding the most delicious and most expensive dish on the menu. He feels a slight brush against his leg but pays it no mind, concentrating rather intensely on the wonderful selection presented before him.

‘Honey Spice Chicken Thighs?’ he reads. Sounds sweet and spicy.

Just the way he likes it.

The waiter promptly sweeps by to take each of their orders, Gai ordering the same thing as Obito because he’s terribly unoriginal, except Gai orders his dish with a little more spice in an effort to somehow validate his own masculinity. Obito only scoffs when Gai gives him an absurdly smug grin. Kakashi gets some sort of steak and Iruka orders a margarita right away.

Kakashi raises an eyebrow at his friend. “Isn’t that a little—”

“I know what I’m doing,” Iruka utters back, unblinking as the pale drink is silently set down in front of him.

Kakashi stares stupidly at Iruka’s drink before letting out a relenting laugh and turning back to continue his conversation with Gai. Obito takes this break to peer over at the other couple in curiosity, and he nearly chokes at the sight of Gai.

 _Jesus Christ,_ Obito thinks, biting back the urge to laugh as he watches Gai fumble with his napkin _._

Also _damn,_ Obito’s shoulders sink a little as he thinks about how jealous he is of Gai right now. Kakashi is absolutely stunning, and Obito never really thought he had a “type,” but he is almost one hundred percent certain that Kakashi is his type.

He’s a little bitter, yeah, but Obito decides to be a good friend and back off for Gai’s sake, finally turning to start a conversation with his own date.

Iruka is downing his glass at a rate so fast it makes Obito’s head spin.

“Uh,” Obito awkwardly utters, watching as his date unceremoniously drops his now emptied drink back onto the table. Iruka gives him a look of indifference, lips pursed as he waits for Obito to continue. “So…tell me about yourself.”

Iruka lets out a soft burp, tracing his finger around the rim of his glass. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Obito’s mouth drop opens, and he’s just about to say something when he hears Kakashi’s laughter, a sound so absolutely euphoric that Obito has to physically suppress himself from exploding with jealousy. His eyes automatically travel to Gai, narrowing despite his attempts to remain neutral because _fuck,_ he wants to make Kakashi laugh like that, too, but Obito can’t with stupid Gai there.

Gai laughs along with his date almost nervously, clutching his napkin and dabbing it across his forehead in a shaky manner. Obito rolls his eyes, wondering who the hell Gai sold his soul to in order to earn himself a wish-come-true like Kakashi.

The waiter soon returns with all of their meals, and the two couples fall into a semi-comfortable silence. Comfortable on Gai and Kakashi’s part, uncomfortable for Obito, who is caught in between both discreetly watching Kakashi chew and avoiding Iruka’s judging eyes.

The food at this restaurant is about as subpar as the decorations, Obito quickly comes to realize as he downs his fifth glass of water. The chicken is nearly all spice and barely any sweet. Figures. Not that Obito couldn’t handle spicy foods, no, it’s just the surprise that catches him off guard, the overwhelming sensation of spice tingling across his taste buds. He would have at least liked a warning or something, but he supposes the chicken is good all the same. There are hints of honey, the sweet tang that blesses him every once in a while.

Obito finishes his meal with a decently satisfied sigh, wiping his face with his napkin and smiling kindly at the waiter who takes his emptied plate. He glances over at Iruka, his date now sporting about four empty glasses of different shapes and sizes, and Obito briefly wonders if Iruka actually ordered anything other than alcohol at all. Obito once more attempts to start a conversation with him, only to shut his mouth when Iruka suddenly gets up to go to the bathroom, leaving Obito alone with Gai and Kakashi who is just about to take a scoop out of a very delectable-looking vanilla ice cream.

“—and he didn’t even have his pants on!” Gai finishes whatever stupid story he’s decided to tell this time. Obito suppresses a groan, finding Gai’s over-exaggerations of an already exaggerated story too ridiculous for anyone to find even remotely funny.

“Oh, Gai, you’re so funny!” Kakashi says in between the most adorable giggles Obito’s ever heard. “Gosh, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as funny as you!”

 _Damn it,_ Obito thinks again, _Lucky bastard._

Gai looks as if he’s floating on cloud nine, and Obito lets out a defeated sigh, grabbing the dessert menu and rifling through the pages in search of a dessert that’ll rid him of the bitterness he tastes on his tongue. He looks up just in time to see Iruka’s return, his date looking much more refreshed than he did before he left. Iruka takes his seat across Obito and lets out an oddly lovesick sigh, a small smile on his face as he listens to Gai tell another outlandish story. Obito blinks and clears his throat, but Iruka only ignores him again, apparently very content with staring at Gai’s stupid face.

Obito lets out another defeated sigh, his gaze falling to the selection of cakes on the menu before him. He’s just about to flip the page when he feels a very…suggestive brush against his leg, his entire body tensing up at the sudden sensation. Obito feels himself frown, swallowing a bit as he glances back up at the other three males at the table. When all of them still seem engaged in Gai’s stupid story, Obito lets himself look down again, passing the feeling off as a figment of his imagination.

But then he feels another brush. This time, it’s a bit slower, trailing carefully up Obito’s shin and stopping just below his knee.

Obito clears his throat, shifting a little in his seat and murmuring a mindless apology to no one in particular. Maybe he’s taking up too much leg room, that’ll explain the strange brushes.

Iruka suddenly lets out a loud laugh, and Obito glances back up at the rather surprising sound, only to realize his date is just laughing at Gai’s story. Kakashi himself is sporting a soft smile. They briefly make eye contact, and Obito immediately flushes, quickly looking back down at his menu.

A few minutes pass by in relative harmony, and Obito is just about to call a waiter over to order his own dessert when he feels another brush against his leg, the sensation strong enough to actually startle Obito, who accidentally knocks his knee against the bottom of the table in his surprise.

Gai gives him a strange look but continues on with his story, and as he does, whatever it is that is brushing up against Obito’s leg continues. The grazes become more and more bold, hooking the hem of Obito’s pant leg and gently pulling it upward.

Obito swallows when he feels leather brush against his skin. 

Alright, Obito is beginning to think that maybe something, or rather someone is trying to get his attention.

He takes a look at Iruka, an eyebrow raised in interest because in all honesty, Obito thought the dude wanted nothing to do with him at all, if the breathless look his so-called “date” keeps giving Gai says anything. There’s another brush against his leg, and he moves slightly to the side, glancing furtively at his friend next to him in a mixture of confusion and disgust. Gai wasn’t touching him, was he? That just wouldn’t make any sense.

But that would only leave one other person…

Obito peers over at Kakashi, the gorgeous male absolutely enthralled by Gai’s bullshit stories, eyes starry as he sucks at his vanilla-frosted spoon. The slight pink on his cheeks is absolutely endearing, and the way he laughs forms a halo over his head.

 _Yeah, there’s no way,_ Obito thinks, laughing a little to himself for even considering the innocent man, flipping through the dessert menu once more. Maybe Obito is just feeling things. As weird as that sounds. He crosses one leg over the other, deciding to ignore anymore brushes from here on out.

It almost works. Almost.

Obito’s eyebrows furrow when he feels something graze his shin again.

And again.

And again.

Slow, gentle, but prodding. Obito frowns and decides that enough is enough, carefully pushing the tablecloth up and peering under the table in search for the culprit. He glances over at Iruka’s legs, finding that they were crossed in such a manner that he couldn’t exactly play footsies with Obito so persistently.

Frustrated, Obito resorts to intensely scrutinizing every pair of legs underneath their table, hoping to catch the true culprit – a cat, a rat, something that might explain these strangely provocative brushes against his shins.

“What are you doing?” Gai suddenly asks him, and Obito glances up, meeting his roommate’s ‘stop-embarrassing-me-you-idiot’ eyes. 

“…Nothing…” Obito mutters, averting his gaze as he drops the tablecloth. He takes a glance over at Iruka once more, counting six glasses this time, a tired sigh escaping Obito’s lips.

He couldn’t concentrate with all this mysterious touching. He tries to brace himself for another brush, but as soon as it happens, he nearly jumps five feet out of his seat, knee roughly bumping against the table and rattling the platter on the surface.

“Dude,” Gai hisses, this time giving him an are-you-fucking-kidding-me-right-now look.

Obito has half the mind to apologize when he feels yet another brush, instead letting out a strange noise of constipated frustration. He ignores the looks he’s given from Gai and Iruka, his thoughts running a mile a minute in his head.

There is no way Iruka is doing that, and Obito hopes to every god in the universe that it isn’t Gai. That could only leave Kakashi, but Kakashi wouldn’t do that, right? He has Gai, right? Kakashi isn’t like that, right? He’s far too sweet…far too innocent…far too…

Another brush, this one gently locking their ankles together, and when Obito finally looks at Kakashi, there’s a slight smile on the angelic male’s lips. Obito blinks, and suddenly the smile isn’t so angelic anymore.

Kakashi’s eyes are dark as they hold Obito’s, lips curling upward in almost sinful manner.

_Oh…_

_…shit._

Obito swallows down a lump in his throat, moving to loosen the collar on his shirt.

No… _Kakashi wouldn’t,_ he thinks adamantly to himself. He wouldn’t, there’s no way he would, but the brushes get a little more prodding, a little more evocative with every second.

Kakashi…is Gai’s date, Obito reminds himself as he watches Kakashi innocently play with his dessert. There’s no way Kakashi is rubbing his foot against his leg, there’s no way Kakashi is trying to flirt with him. Not when his date is right there. Not when Obito’s own “date” is right there, too. There’s no way, there’s just no fucking way.

In an effort to distract himself, he stares intensely at the strawberry shortcake delicately photographed on the menu, feeling his lips moisten a bit as he scrutinizes the wonderful plating. _Looks sweet,_ he thinks, smiling a little to himself as he tries to imagine the taste of fresh strawberries on his tongue. So sweet, so delectable, so—

Obito feels another provocative brush against his leg, and this time, when he looks up, Kakashi is staring directly at him.

With a spoon.

A spoon _dripping_ with vanilla ice cream.

A spoon that he is licking in a rather… _appetizing_ manner.

Obito swallows.

Alright, _yeah,_ he dumbly realizes, _Gai’s date is definitely flirting with me._

There’s one more brush against his leg before the warmth is gone, Kakashi sending him a devious wink as he finishes off his spoon, pink lips stained with sparkling white, his little tongue sweeping over the sweetened flesh. Obito tenses up at the surprisingly erotic sight, and he squeezes his legs together, awkwardly glancing from Kakashi to Iruka to Kakashi to Gai to Kakashi all over again.

Kakashi spoons another scoop of ice cream, and this time he sucks around the delectable dessert, lips nice and plush around the spoon, eyes hooded with a simmering gaze. He releases the spoon with a breathy moan, a sound delicate enough to send Obito's blood straight to his crotch.

 _What the fuck,_ is the first thing that crosses Obito’s mind. The second is the sudden tightness in his pants, and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, now completely absorbed in the way Kakashi’s tongue works around the world’s luckiest spoon.

“Stop that!” Gai suddenly snaps, and Obito jolts, wondering if he’s been caught, only to feel Gai’s hand slam onto his thigh. Obito watches as his leg stops bouncing up and down, only then realizing that his attempts to calm himself down had translated into his anxious leg. “You’re rattling the entire table!”

Obito coughs out an awkward apology before his gaze travels to Kakashi once more, an amused and devious look in the silver-haired male’s curled eyes.

Barely moments pass before Kakashi spoons another scoop, wasting no time in lapping at the sparkling dessert, licks slow enough for Obito to catch every flick of his pretty pink tongue. Obito’s leg continues to shake in its own subconscious excitement, and to Obito’s horror, he is unable to stop, the entire table, dishes and all, bouncing lightly on the surface like miniature ravers. Iruka’s nine empty glasses clink together, and after one finally falls over, Obito abruptly gets up, knees bumping against the table with enough force to cause all of the items on the table to inch to the side, napkin coming down to hide his growing erection.

Gai and Iruka gaze at him in bewilderment, but Kakashi’s subtle smile remains.

Obito only then realizes how stupid he must look, face completely red and napkin pressed uncomfortably against his crotch.

He clears his throat, trying his best to salvage the last of his pride (and sanity).

“Excuse me,” Obito manages to say, an awkward and almost apologetic smile on his face. He spares one more glance at Iruka, his date looking even less impressed with him than he did when they first met. Obito nods his head in humble solemnity, concluding that Iruka will most likely not give a fuck about what happens to him now.

There is no other way. Obito did the only logical thing he could think of in a situation like this.

He runs out of the restaurant at full speed, transitioning between sprinting and waddling through the night with an aching cock and flustered cheeks, unable to think of anything but this:

_I’m fucked._

-

Obito is a patient man, or at least he believes he is. He’s so patient, that he once held the door open for at least fifty different people at the train station. Sure, it was a little awkward, but Obito did it nonetheless because he is not only patient, but he’s also a patient gentleman. Never mind that he missed his train, Obito is a strong practitioner of chivalry. A white knight. The most gracious and conscientious of all sires. A patient, patient man.

So that’s why when he snaps at Gai one Tuesday evening, Obito feels like it’s warranted. That idiot would not stop talking about Kakashi. How great Kakashi is, how beautiful Kakashi is, how perfect and innocent and angelic Kakashi is, and how _in love_ he is with Kakashi even though he and Gai have only been dating for, like, barely a week.

 _God,_ Obito thinks. Gai needs to get his head out of his ass.

It’s not that Obito hates Kakashi or anything. No, in fact it’s the opposite. The real reason Obito is so tired of hearing about Kakashi every day is the fact that just the very thought of the silver-haired male provokes certain…reactions in him. Specifically in junior him. Obito really, really doesn’t want to think about Kakashi for a while, because every time that little minx is mentioned, Obito starts to see those pretty pink lips, those sticky beads of white clinging to that little tongue…

God dammit.

Obito’s sick and tired of his dick going up every time Gai mentions his amazing boyfriend.

“—and he volunteers at a local animal shelter! Kakashi’s an actual angel!” Gai exclaims, a dopey smile on his lovesick face. “An angel!”

“Sure,” Obito utters.

“He also helps with fundraising for microcredit loans for small businesses in developing countries,” Gai continues to rave, his eyes sparkling with every mention of his new boyfriend. “Kakashi is just such an inspiration.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you know he graduated as valedictorian of his class? Not only is he absolutely gorgeous, but he’s also a genius! God, isn’t he just the cutest, smartest, most amazing person on earth?”

 _“In the universe,”_ Obito gripes back, the wallowing feeling of jealousy stirring his stomach until that image of Kakashi moaning around that damn spoon pops up in his head, the wallowing feeling then transferring right to a little something in his pants.

God dammit. Obito lets out a huff, abruptly getting up from his seat on the couch and heading for the kitchen in search for something to clear his head.

“How did I get so lucky?” Gai dreamily sighs as he follows Obito to the kitchen anyway, much to the latter’s irritation. “And you said he was going to be ugly. Is he ugly Obito? Is he?”

Obito rolls his eyes at Gai’s childish jab, shoving the latter off of him when Gai shimmies over his shoulder. “Yeah, I was wrong, _I get it_ asshole. Congratulations, but you still need to pay Asuma off for me.”

“Not even that can bring me down, I’ve got the hottest boyfriend in the world!” Gai obnoxiously cheers for himself, slamming the refrigerator door shut when Obito tries to open it. Obito lets out a rough sigh. “Speaking of the hottest boyfriend in the world—”

“Like you haven’t been talking about him for the past 144 hours,” Obito murmurs to the side, aggressively opening the fridge again to grab another lumpy protein shake.

“—I’m taking him out on another date this weekend!” Gai exclaims, grabbing the protein shake right out of Obito’s hands despite Obito’s shout of protest. “That reminds me, I should call him and ask him where he wants to go. Be right back!” Gai lets out a horrifying giggle before leaving the kitchen with Obito’s protein shake.

Jesus Christ. Obito glares at the doorway, sending a middle finger towards Gai’s retreating back.

Obito shuffles through the kitchen, not really doing anything as he sulks to himself when Gai suddenly bursts back in, a look of urgency in his eyes as he grabs Obito’s shoulders and shakes him into another dimension.

“He wants another double date!” Gai practically shrieks.

_“What.”_

“Kakashi wants another damn double date!” Gai repeats, frustration clear in his tone as he stares Obito down. “I guess he thinks you and Iruka should start over again or something. I don’t know.” Gai then pauses, as if suddenly realizing something. “Or is he nervous? So nervous of me that he doesn’t want to go out with me alone quite yet? I’m not intimidating, am I? Oh, god, Obito, what do I do if I’m intimidating? It’ll break my heart if I scare him—”

Obito scoffs. “You’re about as intimidating as a soggy piece of toast. Either way, I’m not going.”

“What?” Gai’s voice goes surprisingly high for an adult male. “Why not? You have to go!”

Obito lets out a long groan. “We both agreed that the blind date would be the last favor I ever did for you!”

“Come on! We’re best friends, aren’t we? Bros? Amigos? Compadres? Do this for the pea to your pod—”

“Actually, I consider you more of a major inconvenience than any of the above,” Obito spits, moving to leave the kitchen with a huff, but Gai stops him.

“Give it another chance! Iruka wasn’t that bad, was he?” Gai tries, but Obito only gives him a tired stare. “Come on, Kakashi won’t go on this date this weekend unless we go double again!” Gai whines, stomping his foot on the ground childishly.

“Boo fucking hoo, asshole. Iruka literally drank his liver into oblivion, do you really think he wants to see my face again?” Obito gripes. “Find someone else to fill in. I’m serious this time.”

Gai lets out another whine. “Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“I’ll do your laundry for an entire week.”

“No.”

“A month.”

“No. Nothing you say will change my mind.”

“…I’ll suck your dick.”

Obito nearly chokes. “I don’t want you anywhere near my damn dick.”

“I’ll actually suck your dick if you don’t come,” Gai threatens, and Obito actually fears the seriousness in the other male’s eyes.

“…You’re such a fucking freak,” Obito utters, shoulders slumping at his sides. He can’t believe this. “Fine, just stay away from my dick.”

Gai smiles victoriously. “No problem.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Jesus,” Obito utters to himself as Gai parks the car, the sight of the mall up ahead more intimidating than it should be. He can already spot Kakashi’s figure in the distance, waiting just outside the sliding doors of the entrance. Obito shifts in his seat a little, awkwardly adjusting his pants when he begins to feel that god forsaken heat sinking towards his groin. If the mere sight of Kakashi standing about fifty feet away is enough to turn Obito on, he knew right away that this date is a bad idea.

Like, a really bad idea.

“Come on already!” Gai shouts from outside the car, his knuckles thudding against the passenger side window startling Obito out of his daze. Obito blinks, he hadn’t even realized that Gai already left the car.

With shaky hands, Obito opens the door, squinting a little at the afternoon sun beating back down on him.

“Oh, god, he’s already here,” Gai gasps, dramatically shaking Obito by the shoulders as if he’s facing another crisis. “What if we’re late, oh my god, what if—”

“Can you not touch me?” Obito growls in irritation, shoving Gai away and rubbing at his abused shoulder. “And stop freaking out. If he was willing to consider a second date in the first place, then he probably actually likes you.” That actually physically pained Obito to say out loud.

Gai blinks a little before a wide smile spreads across his face. “Thanks, Obito. You’re so sweet. I could just suck your dick right now.”

Obito’s mouth falls open. “Again with that—”

“But I won’t, because you’re gross and I got a date with that cutie over there!” Gai winks, skipping away towards said cutie, who is still waiting at the entrance.

Obito watches him leave, stupefied, half of him tempted to just steal Gai’s car and drive as far away as he can, but he knows it’s no use when he sees Kakashi and Gai waving at him in the distance. He lets out a low sigh, one that does nothing to relieve his nerves as he heads on over, his palms sweating excessively by his sides. Memories of his previous encounter with Kakashi already begin to permeate his senses as he approaches the man of his dreams (or nightmares), Kakashi already smiling sweetly at him, a look so innocent that Obito has to think twice about whether or not this really is the same guy who blew a spoon on their blind date.

“Hi!” Kakashi chirps, eyes warm as he sends Obito another little wave. Obito can only make a strange sound of acknowledgement back, one that makes him want to crawl into a hole and burn to a crisp in. “Obito, right?” The way Kakashi pronounces his name sends involuntary shivers down Obito’s spine.

 _I’m so fucked._ “Uh, yeah,” Obito answers with an awkward laugh. He immediately averts his eyes when he meets Kakashi’s intent gaze, willing his boner to stay down. His stare lingers on the ground until he suddenly realizes something. A frown draws Obito’s brows together as he glances around the entrance in confusion.

Just as he opens his mouth to voice his concerns, Gai beats him to it, “Where’s Iruka?” Gai asks, hands on his hips as he looks around the lot as well, no signs of Obito’s supposed date anywhere.

“Oh,” Kakashi’s smile thins a bit, hands behind his back as he leans his head against Gai’s shoulder. “He’s not feeling well today, so he cancelled.”

Obito nearly lets out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, man, I hope he feels better soon,” Gai says unconvincingly, clearly excited by this turn of events. He meets Obito’s eyes, the two sharing the same relieved stare. “Sorry, Obito, I guess you have to leave—”

“Obito can stay,” Kakashi cuts in.

“What?” Obito blurts at the same time Gai does, the two roommates’ jaws nearly hitting the floor.

Kakashi seems unfazed by their rather ugly display. “I mean, he came all the way here already,” Kakashi clarifies, a sweet smile on his lips as he turns his friendly gaze onto Obito. “I’d feel bad if he had to leave so suddenly. The least we can do is let him come along with us, right, Gai?” He turns to Gai as he sweetly says this, and Obito doesn’t need to look to know that Gai has already melted into the cracks of the sidewalk.

“O-Of course…a-anything for you, baby!” Gai immediately agrees, nodding his head at such a speed that Obito is almost afraid his neck will snap. “C-Come on, Obito!”

Obito curses beneath his breath, knowing all too well that Gai is useless. He supposes he has to do everything himself.

“I…I’m fine, really,” Obito says, giving Kakashi an awkward smile. “I’d rather not be a third wheel.” He doesn’t wait for an answer, immediately turning on his heels and heading back to the parking lot, only to freeze in place when he feels a delicate touch against his arm. When he looks, Kakashi is staring right at him, smile sweet and eyes hooded with what Obito could only describe as lust.

“I insist,” Kakashi whispers, that sweet smile suddenly turning into something else as his tongue slowly swipes his lips, arms slowly encircling Obito’s.

Fuck.

Obito closes his eyes and prays to every single god in the universe for the patience he will need in order to withstand this “double date.” He peers over at Kakashi once more, and the silver-haired male gives him a pretty little wink back.

Obito can already feel his pants tightening.

-

Obito is getting terrible flashbacks to his previous relationship. He had been with a girl that did an awful lot of shopping, and Obito had often been left to fend for himself on some makeshift bench in the corner of a store, carrying everything like a pack mule whenever his ex decided it was time to leave.

Now it’s worse, because he’s carrying twice the weight his ex ever managed to put together since it has become very apparent very quickly that both Gai and Kakashi were avid shopping enthusiasts. If there are two things Obito hates in life, it’s going shopping and third-wheeling.

And unresolved boners.

Three things, Obito corrects himself as he adjusts his belt, kicking one of the various bags of useless crap Gai had tossed towards him earlier that day.

Could this date honestly get any worse? In every store they’ve been in, Obito was forced to follow Gai and Kakashi hopelessly around the store, cringing to himself every time Gai opened his mouth to obnoxiously flirt with Kakashi, his pick-up lines becoming more and more terrible with every second.

And whenever Gai wasn’t looking, Kakashi would send Obito certain looks over the clothing racks.

Everything is just so damn confusing. Kakashi looks and seems like the sweetest and kindest person on earth, so why the hell is he flirting with Obito? When he’s with Gai? It just didn’t add up. While Obito would normally jump at such a wonderful opportunity, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit of respect for the bro code. Gai and Kakashi are technically “dating,” so Obito really couldn’t do anything but watch pathetically as Gai continues to strive for Kakashi’s attention.

God, life was just so unfair.

Obito is broken from his thoughts at the sound of his name being called. He glances up, meeting the rather sheepish-looking eyes of Hatake Kakashi. Obito swallows down his anxiousness, trying his best to push back images of vanilla cream clinging to reddened lips as he gives Kakashi a look of question.

“Can you help me pick out an outfit? I have a couple of options, but I’m not sure which one I should get,” Kakashi asks him, nodding down at the pile of clothes in his arms. The look in his eyes for once is sincere, as if he truly wants Obito’s opinion and not...something else of Obito’s. Still, Obito couldn’t help but feel a little uncertain.

“Uhm…” Obito scratches the back of his neck, suddenly feeling extremely lame. “Shouldn’t you ask Gai?”

“He’s waiting in line to buy his stuff…I don’t want him to lose his place in line,” Kakashi explains patiently, though the way he rocks on his heels gives away his restlessness. “Please? I promise it’ll be quick.”

Oh, god. If Obito is already weak for Kakashi, he’s decrepit for Kakashi’s puppy eyes.

“S-Sure…” Obito forces a smile as he gets up, struggling to carry all the things the couple had bought on his arms. “Lead the way.”

Kakashi beams so bright Obito nearly stumbles on his feet. “Great!” Kakashi chirps as he turns to head towards the dressing rooms. Obito tries not to stare at Kakashi’s ass as he follows behind, watching longingly as Kakashi disappears into one of the stalls.

Obito lets out a sigh as he drops all the bags onto the floor around him, relieved that the dressing rooms at least had an actual bench for him to rest on. And rest he did, for at least a good three minutes before Obito hears the shy call of his name again, and when he looks up, Kakashi is peering at him from behind the stall door he occupied, his cheeks tinted a soft shade of pink.

Curiously enough, he seems to be avoiding Obito’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Obito carefully asks him, shifting a little to get a better look at Kakashi’s uncharacteristically embarrassed expression.

Kakashi bites his lip, gaze flitting across the floor for a moment before landing on Obito. “I…I think I’m s-stuck,” he confesses quietly, and Obito tilts his head to the side in confusion. “T-The p-pants…”

Obito’s eyes immediately widen, his own ears beginning to redden at the mere thought of Kakashi in extremely tight pants. Pants so tight he apparently can’t get out of them. Pants so tight they probably hug every inch of his pretty little thighs, sculpting the sweet curves of his ass in all the right places, so smooth and soft and—

“O-Obito?” Kakashi calls again, and Obito immediately whisks the images away, knowing that now isn’t the appropriate time to think about that, especially with a confusing person like Kakashi, his friend’s date, who has also been flirting with him instead of said friend, who also looks really cute when he's embarrassed, who Obito honestly wouldn't mind being alone in a dressing room with, who is also stuck in some very tight pants, apparently.

Fuck.

“D-Do you want me to get Gai?” Obito nearly squeaks as he awkwardly gets up, trying his best to avoid Kakashi’s eyes.

“No!” Kakashi immediately says, startling Obito with how quickly he answered. “C-Can you just help me? I just…need to get them… _off…”_

Oh, mother almighty. Obito can’t tell if he’s the luckiest or unluckiest man on earth. But at this point, he doesn’t think, his head nodding for him and his legs pushing him towards the stall all on their own will. All he can really process is the idea of Kakashi in tight pants, tight pants that he needs help removing from those nice…slender…legs…

Before Obito knows it, he’s in a tiny dressing room stall with a certain Hatake Kakashi.

Before Obito knows it, the stall is being locked.

Before Obito knows it, he’s up against the wall, only to find that Kakashi is wearing rather short shorts and not a pair of extremely tight pants, and Obito…

Obito’s pants are off. 

“Holy shit—” the words leave Obito’s lips before he can properly react, his hands instinctively moving to cover his problem down south, but he’s too late. Kakashi’s hands take their place for him, an embarrassingly loud moan erupting from Obito’s lips at the feeling of Kakashi’s warm hands against his crotch.

Kakashi lets out a pleased hum. “Thanks Obito, for coming to help me with my little problem,” he whispers right against Obito’s ear, successfully sending shivers down Obito’s spine as his fingers slowly massage the base of his balls. Kakashi’s gaze drops to Obito’s lower regions, a sinful smile on his lips. “But it looks like you might be facing a little problem of your own...” Obito swallows thickly, tensing when Kakashi gradually tightens his grasp, palm pressing against Obito’s groin. Kakashi’s eyes flash with surprise before lighting up in excitement, his little smile darkening even more. “A _big_ problem, actually.”

“Uh,” Obito stupidly says, trying his best to make sense of the situation, the heat quickly deluding his head as he stares dumbly back into Kakashi’s clouded eyes. “I-I didn’t do anything…” Obito closes his eyes, wanting to smack himself in the head because really, out of all the things in the damn world, that was all he could say.

Kakashi lets out a little giggle that would have sounded angelic if it wasn’t coming out of a damn demon, in Obito’s eyes. “Sure you did, Obito! Don’t be so _modest!”_ Kakashi bites his lip as he presses his weight against Obito’s body, fingers gently tracing the shape of Obito’s dick, bangs falling in between his lashes as he stares deeply into Obito’s eyes.

Obito’s mouth falls open, delirium quickly clouding his thoughts.

How did he end up here?

Where did his pants go?

What is Kakashi doing?

The answer to that final question becomes very obvious when Kakashi suddenly drops to his knees, reaching up and shoving Obito’s underwear down to the ground in one swift movement, his pretty pink lips flashing Obito with one last sweet smile before slipping around the head of Obito’s already pathetically hard cock.

Obito throws his head back so hard he nearly knocks himself out against the stall door, the tiny dressing room rattling on its hinges as his body quivers from the delicious sensations of Kakashi’s warm mouth around him.

Shit, he thinks.

He nearly loses his mind as he feels Kakashi’s tongue swirl around his length.

Shit.

Kakashi bends forward further, easily taking Obito to the hilt, his position on the floor shifting so that his shorts hug the flesh of his ass, giving Obito a pretty clear view of what he has to offer.

SHIT. 

Kakashi releases him with a loud pop, traces of white dripping from his lips as he gives Obito a small smirk. Obito is unable to do anything but stare blearily back, breaths thin and uneven as Kakashi presses a soft kiss against the slit. Kakashi bats his lashes at him before he carefully laps at the head, never breaking eye contact with Obito, tongue flicking in all the right ways it drives Obito insane. Kakashi wraps his lips around him again, the warm and wet sensation of it all forcing Obito’s head back against the wall, a low and guttural groan escaping his throat.

He can’t take this anymore. Obito’s fingers itch to curl through Kakashi’s silver strands, hips begging him to thrust forward and bury himself deep down Kakashi’s hot throat, but before the last brick of his self-control falls apart, Gai’s face suddenly flashes before him.

Ugh. Obito grimaces. Gai’s ugly bowl-cut is just about the worst thing to think about during the best blow job of his life, but it’s enough to remind Obito of his sins.

Every part of him that isn’t his dick screams that he’s breaking the holy Bro Code, and it nearly brings a tear to his eyes.

If only the best blow job of his life didn’t have to come from his friend’s date. If only the best blow job of his life didn’t have to break the stupid Bro Code. If only the best blow job of his life didn’t have to come with such conflicting morals, because god, Obito wants to enjoy this, he so badly wants to enjoy this, to scream FUCK IT and fuck Kakashi into the damn ground, but he can’t. He can’t because Gai’s stupid fucking face keeps popping up in his mind every time he even dares to look at Kakashi’s tight ass underneath him.

Life is just so unfair sometimes.

“K-Kakashi,” Obito grits out, his hands clenching against the door behind him in an attempt to find purchase for his sanity. “G-Gai—” he says, but that isn’t what he wants to say – no, what he wants to say is that he didn’t want this, but he is physically unable to because that’s just a flat out lie. Obito really fucking wants this. It’s almost pathetic how much he wants this. Obito’s been so deprived for so fucking long, and with the hottest guy Obito’s ever seen sucking his dick with such enthusiasm, he finds that he really can’t lie.

Obito wants this.

He wants this so bad. 

“Kakashi,” he rasps, voice strained from both his conflicting emotions and the sight of Kakashi’s lips around his cock.

Kakashi only hums, the otherwise innocent sound mercilessly sending vibrations right through Obito’s skin. Obito makes the mistake of looking down again, immediately finding Kakashi’s doe-eyed stare through the haze of it all.

Somehow, that’s enough.

“S-Shit,” Obito hisses, releasing into Kakashi’s mouth without warning. He nearly forgets how to breathe as he wheezes out a string of curses, hips stuttering as he comes, his heart thrashing wildly in his chest. Obito nearly chokes again when Kakashi continues to suck him for what he’s worth, and when he glances down again, he catches a glimpse of the flush on Kakashi’s cheeks, trails of cum and spit dripping from his reddened lips.

 _Call me Jesus,_ Obito thinks, because he might as well come again.

Obito loses all feeling in his legs as he slowly slides onto the ground, knocking his head against the door for the third time in the past ten minutes. Kakashi remains unfazed, merely pulling back and meeting Obito’s eyes, deliberately swallowing down Obito’s seed with a satisfied ‘ah.’

Obito is unable to do anything but gape and watch as Kakashi trails his finger through the bit of cum still lingering on the corner of his lips, leading the bead onto his waiting tongue. He licks the liquid from his fingers with a coy smile, lips smacking together with a pop before he leans in, pressing a soft kiss against Obito’s slackened jaw. When Kakashi pulls away, he sends Obito a final wink, standing up abruptly and tugging his shorts down to a less skimpy length. Kakashi swiftly opens the door, stepping over Obito’s nearly numbed body and exiting the dressing room without another word.

Obito doesn’t snap out of his daze until he feels his back hit the floor behind him, and he quickly scrambles up, frantically pulling his pants back on with shaking hands.

 _What the fuck just happened_ is the only thing he can think about as he stumbles out of the dressing room, face completely red as he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, horrified to see just how red is face is. He collapses onto the bench he occupied earlier, barely able to feel his limbs as he tries his best to process what the fuck just happened.

“Whoa,” he hears, and to his side stands Gai, bags hanging from one arm and Kakashi draped over the other. “What happened to you, dude? Swim a lap in the dressing rooms or something?”

Obito gapes, briefly making eye contact with Kakashi again, and Kakashi merely brushes his fingers through his silver locks, a doll-like smile lifting his reddened lips.

“S-Something like that,” Obito manages to say, voice cracking a bit as he leans back against the wall, unable to take his eyes off of Kakashi’s subtle smirk.

Gai snorts at his answer, carelessly handing Obito his bags before turning to delicately stroke the side of Kakashi’s face. Obito grimaces, the bag merely falling by his side as images of his cum running down Kakashi’s chin flash before his eyes.

“Ready to go?” Gai asks Kakashi, gazing gently at his date as Kakashi gives him a sweet smile of his own. 

“Yup,” Kakashi easily answers, squeezing Gai’s arm and nuzzling his nose against his shoulder. “I’m a little hungry now, actually. Maybe we should get something to eat. What do you think, Obito?”

Obito sluggishly blinks back at Kakashi. He honestly didn’t even hear what he said, but Obito doesn’t have enough sense to do anything else. “S-Sounds good.”

Gai nods his head, pursing his lips in thought. “There’s this new Chinese restaurant that opened a couple days ago, but it’s on the other side of town. Want to check it out anyway?” he suggests, eyes filled with such infatuation for the silver-haired male that Obito has to force himself to look away.

“Oh, sounds exciting!” Kakashi chirps, rubbing Gai’s arm in a tender manner before letting go. “I love Chinese food!”

Gai smiles, clearly proud of his suggestion as he pulls his phone out. “I’ll call them right now to make sure they keep a table for us. Let’s go.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you outside,” Kakashi says, but Gai gives him a look of confusion. Kakashi glances back at Obito briefly before giving Gai another sweet smile. “Obito looks a little tired, so I’ll stay back a bit and help him with the bags.”

Gai looks as if he’s about to snort, but he stops himself. “Obito will be fine,” he says instead, waving a hand in a dismissive manner. “He’s a big boy.”

“Oh, I _know_ …” Kakashi simpers, and Obito rubs his hand over his forehead in exasperation, “but, I can’t let him carry all those bags by himself. He’s been doing it alone all day,” Kakashi insists, giving Gai the brightest puppy-eyed stare he could muster.

For some reason, Gai looks even more in love with Kakashi than he did before. “You’re such an angel,” he breathes out, somehow amazed by Kakashi’s rather ordinary words. Obito finds it ridiculous that Gai looks as if he’s about to cry.

Kakashi presses a quick kiss against Gai’s cheek before turning towards Obito once more. Obito ignores the sounds of Gai’s squeals as he meets Kakashi’s eyes again, the two merely staring at each other as they wait for Gai to leave. It isn’t until he’s gone that Kakashi sits down beside Obito, pressing their thighs together as his hand delicately grazes Obito’s chest, a coy grin on his lips.

Obito is still too dazed to move, merely watching Kakashi’s eyes as they eagerly observe Obito’s features.

It’s only when he feels a hand slide up his thigh that Obito snaps out of his trance, bewilderedly meeting Kakashi’s stare. Kakashi only smirks, dangling a phone between two fingers and dropping it into Obito’s lap.

“Call me sometime,” is all Kakashi says before he gets up, picking up just one bag and turning to leave the store.

Obito glances down at his phone stupidly, not even realizing that it had been gone this entire time. He picks it back up, unlocking it and scrolling through his contacts. Sure enough, Kakashi’s name sits on his screen, highlighted with two kiss emojis and a single heart.

Obito’s shoulders slump as the device slips from his fingers and clatters back onto the bench beside him, one question and one question only swirling through his mind.

What the fuck has he gotten into?

-

Obito is a good person.

No, really, he is. He’s always kept up decent grades in school and stayed in as little trouble as possible growing up. He does everything he can to make sure everyone around him feels included, listens and lends a shoulder when his friends need it, and most impressively, he puts up with Gai.

But even good people have their limits.

Gai and Kakashi have been dating for approximately three weeks.

Three weeks.

Three full weeks of Obito having to sit and suffer through Gai’s endless proclamations of his undying love for the silver-haired male. Obito is getting a migraine just thinking about it.

Gai always was a chronic braggart. There isn’t a single humble bone in that bastard’s body, and Obito would know, seeing as Obito was (un)lucky enough to have grown up with him. Obito is pretty sure Gai could somehow find a way to brag about his life even if he spent most of it duct-taped to a wall somewhere, but nowadays, it’s always Kakashi this, Kakashi that with him, and Obito is really starting to lose his patience. Especially because Gai is bragging about an actual fraud.

It’s a complicated situation.

It’s no secret that Gai annoys the shit out of him, but he still is Obito’s best friend somehow, and because of that, Obito does feel a good amount of guilt for what happened between him and Kakashi. Added to the burn is the fact that Gai thinks Kakashi is an absolute angel when in reality, everything he knows about the guy is a complete lie.

What complicates the situation even more is that while Obito feels bad for Gai, Obito still can’t find it in him to tell the truth. Obito can be the good friend he’s supposed to be and expose Kakashi for his obvious lies anyway, but honestly, when Obito thinks about it, does Gai even deserve to know?

Because _come on._

Gai was the one who dragged Obito into this mess in the first place. And all he ever does is brag, brag to the point of obscurity, and what’s the harm in one blow job anyway? Obito hasn’t seen Kakashi since that day, mostly due to the fact that Obito has been aggressively avoiding every one of Kakashi’s tricky “double date” invitations. If Obito keeps this up, then he won’t even have to worry about having to tell Gai anyway. And he can sleep at night peacefully knowing that he received the best blow job of his life, probably.

That’s enough for Obito.

Probably.

Maybe with time, Gai would get over his infatuation for Kakashi and actually come back down to earth. Maybe with time, Gai will realize the truth about Kakashi. Maybe with time, Kakashi will disappear from their lives completely.

Maybe.

But for now…

“You know what I love the most about Kakashi?”

Obito doesn’t even look up from the TV, body slumped against the couch as he mindlessly flips through channels. When Gai continues to prod him with his foot, Obito heaves out a deep sigh, monotonously answering Gai’s daily mantra of a question, “His generosity—“

 _“His generosity,”_ Gai proudly declares, continuing to nudge Obito’s knee with his foot despite the way Obito tries to kick him away. Obito turns to give Gai an annoyed glare, only to be met with Gai’s stupidly lovesick gaze, the fool looking as if his heart might burst at the mere prospect of Kakashi’s alleged generosity. “Not only is he generous,” Gai predictably continues, “but Kakashi is also—”

“Intelligent, considerate, humble…” Obito mechanically recites at the same time Gai does, feeling his shoulders droop with aggravation.

“And he’s absolutely beautiful,” Gai gushes, apparently not noticing the way Obito mockingly mimics him. “He has a wonderful heart, he’s opinionated but not small-minded, fun-loving, independent, and—”

“Gai, you literally tell me the exact same thing every day,” Obito tries to interject, “I get it already. You’re in love—”

“—he’s innocent,” Gai finishes anyway, an oblivious smile plastered over his face as he grabs Obito’s hand and holds it against his chest. “Just feel the way my heart beats for him, my Kakashi, my lovely and innocent Kakashi—”

Obito retracts his hand with a slight glare, immediately getting up to wash himself off of Gai’s love struck germs.

And of course Gai decides to follow him to the bathroom.

“You know, Kakashi hasn’t even had his first kiss yet,” Gai continues, a weird hop in his step as he trails after Obito. Obito tries his best to ignore him, stepping into the bathroom and attempting to shut the door, only for Gai to force it back open with a loud sigh of wonder. “Kakashi is so pure…so virtuous. He tells me he’s saving himself for the right guy. How amazing is that?”

Obito turns the sink on, rinsing his hand with a disinterested hum. Saving himself for the right guy. Obito is almost impressed with how wildly wrong Gai is.

“And who knows?” Gai says, leaning against the doorframe, a smug smirk slowly spreading across his lips. “Maybe his right guy is me.”

Oh, god.

Okay. Obito turns the sink off, wiping his hands with a slight frown as he weighs his options: Tell Gai about the blow job or Listen to Gai go off about how great of a match he is for Kakashi. Obito’s heard the latter plenty. He honestly doesn’t know if he has the sanity to sit through it again.

Maybe it’s time to come clean.

Obito clears his throat, sparing Gai a weary glance as he hesitates. If he comes clean now, Gai will shut up. If he comes clean now, maybe his guilt over the best blow job of his life will finally go away. If he comes clean now, maybe he and Gai can forget about Kakashi forever, and Gai can go back to annoying Obito with something other than Kakashi again. Yes, that sounds about right. Obito nods to himself and opens his mouth to speak, “About that, Gai—”

“Now I know what you’re thinking,” Gai interrupts before Obito can say anything else. “Since when did Maito Gai get so whipped?”

“Uh,” Obito says, “normally, yes, but no…I was actually going to say—”

“I’ll tell you when. When I fell in love!" Gai declares as if he hadn’t heard Obito at all, and Obito shuts his mouth, staring blankly at his stupid roommate. “That’s right! Maito Gai is in love! With one person! With Hatake Kakashi! My angel, my saving grace, my beautiful, beautiful baby who I will wait for until the end of time—”

Obito shifts, an uncomfortable look in his eyes. “Look, Gai—”

“I mean, honestly, I’ve never met anyone as genuine as Kakashi,” Gai professes. “Someone so sweet, someone so loving and gentle. I would give him the moon if I could, the stars and the planets and every bit of the galaxy—”

“Gai, I’m serious,” Obito tries once more. “Just listen to me for once—”

Gai stops him with a finger to his lips, and Obito immediately flinches away, giving Gai an incredulous look. “Now I know you wouldn’t understand,” Gai tells him in an almost condescending manner, and Obito can feel a nerve in his forehead throb. “You, who has never experienced the sweet taste of love. In some ways I pity you. In others, envy.”

“What the fuck are you even going on about anymore?”

“I don’t blame you. One doesn’t understand the compelling power of love until they experience it themselves.” Gai pats Obito’s head, ignoring the way Obito slaps his hands away. “One day, Obito, you will find the one for you. The one who will change your life for the better. The one who will turn your lonely life into one filled with love—”

Obito lets out a growl of frustration. “I swear to god, Gai, Kakashi’s been—”

“A life saver!” Gai nearly sings as he lets out another dramatic sigh, feigning a swoon. “My life was dark without him! A dark, dark place. But Kakashi, Kakashi has led me back into the light! Oh, my baby Kakashi…Have I told what I love about Kakashi yet?”

Obito glares at him. “No,” he sarcastically replies.

“Oh, well, for one thing,” Gai says, “his generosity—”

Obito lets out a loud groan, nearly kicking Gai in the nuts for refusing to listen to him, but he doesn’t, because that would be against the holy Bro Code. And, well, deciding not to tell Gai the truth about Kakashi would also go against the Bro Code, but because Obito has so honorably spared Gai’s balls from suffering the wrath of his foot, he firmly decides that he is no longer obligated to tell Gai the truth. The two actions cancel each other out, so technically Obito is still following the Bro Code.

Technically.

Gai continues on with his daily monologue, but Obito doesn’t even bother to stand through the rest of it (again), exiting the bathroom and retreating back to his room without another word. Gai can believe whatever he wants.

It’s his fault for being a complete moron anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

Obito steps out of his bedroom with a yawn, scratching the back of his neck as he approaches the living room, only to come face to face with the sight of Gai’s ass up in the air.

Obito screams.

“Jesus Christ!” Gai flinches in surprise, glancing back at Obito with a scandalized look. “Isn’t it too early in the morning for you to start screaming like an idiot?”

“Isn’t it too early in the morning for you to stick your ass in my face?” Obito retorts back, pushing past Gai and heading for the kitchen.

“I didn’t stick my ass in your face, you just happened to walk into my ass,” Obito hears Gai’s voice in the background, Obito only rolling his eyes as he fixes himself a glass of Gai’s lumpy protein shake. He takes a sip and grimaces at the sour taste, forcing out a burp before heading back to the living room where he catches sight of Gai doing strange stretches in front of the couch.

Obito watches him for a little longer before finally asking the clearly-struggling man, “What the fuck are you doing.”

Gai doesn’t even look at him, only continuing to contort his body in strange directions. “Kakashi is coming over to do some yoga and I’m making sure I get my stretches in early.”

Obito stiffens at the sound of Kakashi’s name, but he clears his throat, attempting to seem unbothered despite the brief image of Kakashi’s ass in yoga pants crossing his mind.

“Yoga?” he repeats, only then noticing the two yoga mats spread out on the living room floor. Next to them is one of those giant exercise balls Obito’s never really understood the point of. The sight of it all brings Obito back to the time Gai forced him to take yoga classes with him a couple of years ago, his obnoxious roommate insisting that they’d pick up some hot chicks if they showed off their holistic sides or whatever. Obito honestly doesn’t remember why he allowed himself to be dragged into that mess in the first place, but then again, Gai always seems to manage to throw him into these terrible situations no matter what he does to avoid them. Obito sneers. “I thought you gave up on that shit a long time ago.”

Gai casts Obito a disinterested look over his shoulder. “Kakashi says he likes a man who is in touch with his spiritual side.”

Obito has to fight the urge to laugh out loud. _Spiritual._ “You didn’t seem so spiritual when you pulled your hamstrings the last time we did yoga—”

“Pretty funny coming from the guy who let a loud one rip right in the middle of—” Obito grabs a pillow and flings it at Gai’s face, effectively cutting off the rest of Gai’s sentence as Gai releases a loud scream. “You hit my nose, you ass!”

“You hit my nose, you ass!” Obito imitates his whine. “Isn’t it too early in the morning to be screaming like an idiot?”

Gai rolls his eyes, getting up from his strange position on the ground and fixing Obito with a glare. “What the fuck are you doing here anyway?” he asks Obito, somehow annoyed.

Obito raises an eyebrow. “I live here?”

“Not today you don’t,” Gai growls, stalking towards Obito and grabbing him by the arm. Obito lets out another melodramatic scream that Gai ignores.

“Are you kicking me out?” Obito asks him incredulously, one hand over the rim of his glass to prevent his drink from pouring all over their floor

“Obviously,” Gai answers, a response that punctures a nerve in Obito’s forehead. “This is my one chance to be alone with Kakashi, and if you think I’m going to let you ruin it—”

“What do you mean one chance? I thought you guys have gone on a shit ton of dates,” Obito retorts, trying his best not to sound bitter (but he’s pretty bitter).

“Yeah, public dates,” Gai says with a roll of his eyes. “Where we can’t really do anything but smile and hold hands and other boring shit like that.” Boring, Obito mouths to himself. “But today is going to be different.”

“You’re going to kick it up a notch and give him a hug?” Obito sarcastically asks.

“I’ve already hugged him, genius,” Gai retorts as if Obito had been serious. “And I’m thinking I’ll finally get a kiss from him this time around.”

A kiss, Obito mouths this time, and immediately his mind ventures to Kakashi’s lips, and then Kakashi’s lips around his dick, and then Obito doesn’t want to think anymore. “Lame,” he forces himself to say, only slightly breathless as he downs his protein shake in an effort to drown out those tantalizing images.

Gai sends Obito a sharp yet pitiful look. Obito recognizes it almost immediately, his temples throbbing in instant irritation. “Oh, Obito,” Gai predictably begins, “you just don’t understand the plights of love.”

Plights. Obito wonders where Gai even got that word from. “Don’t I?” he utters monotonously.

“You don’t,” Gai confirms, and Obito rolls his eyes. “When it comes to love, you must be patient. No matter how hard it is to hold back, you do it for love. For love, you can do anything for love. And for love, I will wait, I will be patient and wait for love. Because love will come to those who wait for love—”

“How many fucking times are you going to say love—”

Gai suddenly claps his hands. “That reminds me!” he exclaims. “I nearly forgot to get Kakashi some flowers!”

“Why flowers—”

“Why flowers, you ask?” Gai grandiosely repeats. “Because flowers are of the language of love! By getting Kakashi a bouquet of flowers, I am declaring my eternal love to him! You see, Obito, when it comes to love, you must show the person you love how much you love them by speaking the language of love – just one of the many, many plights of love that I, a person who is in love, must endure to earn the love from the very man I love as much as a man can love another man—”

“You are so damn annoying,” Obito murmurs mostly to himself, already exhausted despite only waking up about thirty minutes ago. “I get it, you’re in love or whatever. Can you fuck off and buy your stupid love flowers already?”

“Oh, yes, the flowers!” Gai immediately heads for the door. “I wonder what kind of flowers Kakashi likes…maybe roses? No, too generic…Carnations? No, too pompous…” Obito breathes out a sigh of relief once Gai finally exits the apartment, listening as Gai’s loud self-ramblings slowly faded into the background.

And then silence.

Obito glances down at his empty glass and sets it on a nearby table before slumping into the cushions of the couch, trying to think of all the things he’ll have to do today.

But god, he’s so annoyed. Gai’s really been pushing every one of Obito’s buttons lately with his love bullshit, and nearly every time he’s tried to tell Gai the truth, the guy somehow manages to spew out more amateur poetry about Kakashi.

He needs a distraction.

Obito has half the mind to get up and go to the gym, but then he remembers the cake he left in the fridge and decides to go after that instead.

Obito barely enters the kitchen when he hears a knock at the door.

His temple immediately throbs in annoyance.

Gai, he automatically assumes as he thoughtlessly heads towards the door. “You forgot your stupid wallet again, didn’t you?” he loudly proclaims as he yanks the door open, only to stop dead in his tracks when he comes to face to face with the very eyes that have haunted his wet dreams for the past month.

(Definitely not Gai.)

(Definitely Kakashi.)

Kakashi blinks back at Obito in momentary confusion before tilting his head to the side, a small smile slowly forming on his lips. “Good morning, Obito,” Kakashi greets him, his tone soft and sweet.

“G-Good morning.” His voice cracked.

Obito wants to die.

Kakashi simpers. “It’s been a while,” he says loftily, gaze travelling up and down Obito’s body before stopping by his sides, and Obito belatedly realizes that he’s wearing that stupid shirt he sloppily cut the sleeves off of, his arms and the sides of his torso out and exposed for the world – and in this case, Kakashi to see.

“Uh, y-yeah—” Obito stutters as he awkwardly hugs himself in an attempt to cover up his exposed skin. “It’s…it’s good to see you…” He quickly turns away, heading towards the kitchen once more in an attempt to gain as much distance between him and Kakashi as possible. “Gai went out for a little bit. He should be back soon—”

“So he isn’t here right now?” Kakashi innocently asks, and Obito stiffens at the question. He forces himself to nod, inwardly praying to every god in the universe that he survives the next thirty minutes or so without Gai around. Obito hears Kakashi let out a little hum of interest, and he makes the mistake of turning around, eyes falling on Kakashi’s foxy smile. “That’s too bad.” 

“He’ll be back soon,” Obito weakly repeats himself, immediately averting his gaze and stepping towards the kitchen once more, only to be stopped by Kakashi’s voice yet again.

“Where are you going?”

“Uh…the kitchen?” Obito answers uncertainly, watching as Kakashi enters the apartment and slowly closes the door behind him. “I just...” He thinks about the cake he intended to get and for some reason feels insecure now that Kakashi is here, unwilling to disclose his poor dietary choices, “…wanted some water.”

“Oh,” Kakashi says, walking towards Obito in a way that somehow sends butterflies up and down Obito’s spine, “I’ll join you—”

“T-That’s okay,” Obito immediately interrupts him, stepping back when Kakashi reaches out to touch him. “Y-You can stay here. I’ll…I’ll just get you a glass, too, if you want…”

“Obito.” Obito stiffens at the sound of his name, Kakashi’s voice like a siren pulling him into the sea. He swallows when Kakashi gives him another small smile. “Why don’t we sit down?”

“Um—” Obito apparently doesn’t get a choice in the matter, because Kakashi slinks his arms around Obito’s forearm and guides him towards the couch anyway. “I-I guess we’re…sitting,” he utters awkwardly to himself, Kakashi releasing a little giggle in response as they settle on the cushions.

“So, Obito…” Kakashi begins, his voice holding a sense of airiness to it as he snuggles a bit closer to Obito, the distance between them a little (a lot) too close for Obito’s comfort, “you’re a busy man, aren’t you?”

“Um, well—” Obito clears his throat, gently prying Kakashi’s fingers off of his arm and scooting away, only to grit his teeth as Kakashi follows him, “—not particularly, no…”

“That’s funny,” Kakashi says, a slight pout in his lips as he gazes upwards. “You haven’t called me since we last met. I only assumed you were busy but…did you forget about me?” Kakashi’s returns his gaze onto Obito, and Obito swallows down a lump in his throat, unable to do anything but stare back. “Why haven’t you called me yet, Obito?”

…Fuck. He didn’t think Kakashi would even notice. Obito quickly looks away, nervously scooting away and cursing to himself for letting Kakashi coerce him onto the couch. “I just…haven’t really...thought to…I guess?” He thought to. Plenty of times. But there’s no way he’s going to admit that now if he wants any chance of leaving this situation with his sanity intact.

Kakashi’s stare instantly sharpens, and Obito immediately regrets ever opening his mouth. “So you did forget about me…” Kakashi softly says in a voice so quiet Obito nearly doesn’t hear him. His gaze seems to darken for a moment, the silver-haired male eerily silent as Obito feels a bead of sweat begin to slip down his forehead.

Obito lets out an awkward laugh. “I…have to go to the gym—”

“I didn’t forget about you,” Kakashi suddenly says, his eyes swiftly meeting Obito’s, a sight that hitches Obito’s breath. His eyes fall to Kakashi’s lips, watching them spread into a small smile. “I _couldn’t_ forget about you.” His words linger in the air, settling into Obito’s system like a melted sweet.

Obito can feel where this is going.

He has to get out of here.

Fast.

“T-That sucks…” Obito forces out another lame laugh. “I’m sorry you had to go through that—”

Kakashi scoots closer, Obito scoots back. “No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get you out of my head,” Kakashi softly says, his voice getting quieter and breathier with every word. His hand drops onto Obito’s thigh, slowly slipping upward as he leans in closer.

Obito tries his best to avoid Kakashi’s hazy gaze. “I, uh, I have somewhere to go—” 

“Obito,” Kakashi breathes against his ear, and Obito curses the shiver that goes down his spine at the sound of his name falling from Kakashi’s lips, which really shouldn’t turn him on as much as it does, “I’ve lost hours of sleep thanks to you…” Obito feels Kakashi’s fingers grace his jaw, gently guiding him to meet his eyes, their proximity and the hypnotic nature of Kakashi’s voice slowly clouding Obito’s mind. “Thinking about you…every night.”

It takes every last bit of Obito’s willpower to tear his gaze away. “G-Gai should be back any minute now—” Kakashi’s fingers trail along his lips, and Obito forces down another swallow, his breaths shaky as he forces Kakashi’s hands away. “I’m just going to go out for a quick run or something…” Obito immediately moves to stand up, but Kakashi is quicker, the silver-haired male barely batting a lash as he crawls over and straddles Obito’s lap. 

_God,_ Obito thinks as he stares into Kakashi’s eyes, _I really am the luckiest and unluckiest motherfucker on earth._

“Obito,” Kakashi whispers his name again, and Obito releases probably the strangest noise known to man, but Kakashi doesn’t seem to care as he slowly slides his hands up Obito’s chest. “Do you remember all the fun we had in that dressing room?” he quietly asks, his coy smile and breathy voice doing…things to Obito’s lower regions.

Obito doesn’t even think, his lips moving for him, “Y-Yeah…I do…”

Kakashi gives him a pleased look. “Every time I think about it I start to get…excited.”

Obito eyes automatically close, his skin tingling as he feels Kakashi’s lips begin to brush against his skin. “…I-Is that so?”

“Mhm," Kakashi pleasantly hums, his legs tightening ever so slightly around Obito’s thighs. “It’s hard not to. Everything about it…the look in your eyes, the sounds you made, your taste…” Kakashi pulls away and Obito immediately opens his eyes, their gazes meeting through the fog of it all. “It made me wonder what else you had to offer, but because you never called, I never got a chance to see…”

Obito’s hands clench together by his sides, frozen, stiff. He has to remind himself not to touch Kakashi, but every nerve in his body itches with a certain sense of desperation. “I…I’m sorry I never…” He isn’t even able to finish his sentence, the feeling of Kakashi’s lips against his jaw stunning him into silence.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Kakashi tells him with a coquettish smile. “I have quite the imagination…” He slowly pulls away, watching as Obito’s eyes begin to dilate. Kakashi’s gaze drops, his voice just as teasing as his smile, “…I just wonder if reality stands a chance.”

Obito’s breath hitches as Kakashi rolls his hips against him, the sudden sensation sparking the tips of his fingers, his hands immediately gripping onto Kakashi’s hips as purchase. Their eyes lock, and Obito’s lips tingle with the desire to kiss him.

“I want to kiss you,” Kakashi voices Obito’s exact thoughts, his voice so soft and so delicate as it floats between the intimate space between them. 

Obito’s hands gently trail up, holding Kakashi by the waist.

Kakashi takes this as a sign and presses his lips against Obito’s, the silver-haired male’s fingers automatically curling into Obito’s hair, their bodies flushing together with a heat that reawakens Obito’s thoughts.

Holy shit.

This must be heaven, Obito thinks, something in him stirring with the delighted hums Kakashi releases as they kiss. Obito can already feel himself getting hard and apparently so can Kakashi, the silver-haired male rubbing his ass down against him with a breathy laugh that further clouds Obito’s head.

The Bro Code, part of him whispers.

Obito immediately stiffens, breaking the kiss with a shaky breath and frantic eyes. Kakashi blinks, a careful look in his eyes as he stares at him in question. Obito audibly swallows, the sight of Kakashi’s grey irises making his head spin as his thoughts drift onto Gai.

Gai. And all his stupid speeches about love.

But the Bro Code, that part whispers again.

Gai. When has Gai ever done anything for Obito?

But he’s your Bro.

Gai. He didn’t even listen when Obito tried to tell him the truth.

The Bro Code.

Gai. All he ever does nowadays is brag…flaunt his relationship with Kakashi at every opportunity he gets.

Bro.

Gai.

Bro.

Gai.

Bro.

Gai – god – he’s so damn annoying.

Kakashi looks as if he’s about to pull away completely, but Obito is faster, hands sliding down the surface of Kakashi’s ass and grasping him firmly in place, Kakashi’s surprised eyes meeting Obito’s darkened ones.

 _Fuck you, Gai,_ is the last coherent thought Obito has before he closes the distance between his and Kakashi’s lips, swallowing down the gasp Kakashi emits from the suddenness of it all. _Fuck you and the damn Bro Code._

Obito lets out a harsh growl when he feels fingers curl into his shoulders, and without thinking he forces Kakashi down onto the couch and presses him into the cushions, taking advantage of their new position by sloppily locking their lips together once more. Kakashi releases a mewl at the rough treatment, hooking his legs around Obito’s hips and drawing their bodies closer together.

Obito’s grip on Kakashi’s ass tightens as he pulls away and traces his tongue up the side of Kakashi’s neck, the silver-haired male letting out a shaky breath of approval. The heat between them rises as Obito ruts against him, Kakashi’s fingers slipping from Obito’s shoulders and scratching feverishly down his back in response to the slurry sensations.

“Take this off,” Obito utters as he tugs at the hem of Kakashi’s thin jacket, and Kakashi instantly complies, unzipping the fabric and tossing it to the side with an airy breath of relief. Obito immediately pushes Kakashi’s shirt upwards, revealing the smooth skin that Obito has spent night after pathetically lonely night dreaming of. He wastes no time, lavishing Kakashi’s body with tongue and teeth, greedily listening to the way Kakashi’s breaths heighten with every lick and bite, the feeling of his body shaking underneath him filling Obito’s system with a new addiction.

“Obito…oh—” Kakashi moans, fingers sliding into Obito’s dark locks in a search for purchase, “Please…more…”

_More._

Obito can’t believe the hottest guy he’s ever seen is begging him for more.

It’s been a long time since Obito’s been with someone and there’s no way he’s letting this once in a lifetime opportunity go to waste. He’s sure his dick’s the hardest it’s ever been in a while, Kakashi’s wavering voice hotter than any porn he’s ever watched. Obito moves up and teases Kakashi’s lips, guiding their tongues together as he reaches down and palms Kakashi through his pants, an action that earns Obito an abrupt gasp and a bite on the shoulder.

“God, Obito,” Kakashi whines this time, sounding as if near to tears, “I want you so bad.” Obito sucks in a harsh breath when he feels Kakashi roll his hips up against him, having to take a moment to himself to thank every god out there for somehow making him appealing enough to Kakashi, because damn does Kakashi know how to inflate his ego. Every little fantasy he’s had about Kakashi until this point rushes through his mind until he remembers the day in the dressing room stall, images of Kakashi’s lips around his cock sending all the blood in his body down south to the place that needed it most. 

Fuck it.

“Gai says you’re a virgin,” Obito says, and Kakashi gazes blearily back at him. “Is that true?”

Kakashi lets out a little laugh. “What do you think?”

Obito’s grip on Kakashi’s hips tighten, excitement rushing through his veins. “Good,” he utters, “then you won’t mind if I get rough with you.”

Kakashi only smirks in response, reaching down to pull his pants down when the door to the apartment suddenly slams open, Gai’s loud and cheery voice echoing throughout the walls. “The roses were on sale, isn’t that great, Obito?”

Kakashi immediately shoves Obito off, scrambling onto the ground and grabbing the jacket he had discarded, fixing it around his waist to hide his problem down south at a speed so impressive Obito spends a second merely gaping at the sight. Kakashi glances back at him, slight panic in his eyes as the two exchange a look. Kakashi’s eyes fall to Obito’s crotch before he quickly looks away, fixing his hair a bit as he gets up and gives Gai a sweet smile and cheerful greeting. “Hi, Gai!”

“Kakashi? You’re already here?” Gai sounds surprised, his voice nearing the couch, and it is only then does Obito realizes that he has the world’s most obvious boner to hide as well. He frantically searches for something to cover up with and finds the giant exercise ball by the mats, barely sparing it a second thought as he flings himself towards it, plopping on top of it and hoping to god above that his boner will go away within the next few minutes.

Kakashi lets out a breathy laugh as he walks over and pulls Gai into a warm hug. “I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible, if you don’t mind.” Obito can’t help but let out a scoff, Gai glancing over at him as if only then noticing Obito’s presence there. Obito immediately shuts his mouth, rocking awkwardly on the giant ball as he struggles to balance himself.

Gai seems to scrutinize Obito for a moment, and Obito can feel a bead of sweat trail down his neck.

“…I thought you thought yoga was stupid,” Gai utters, narrowing his eyes at Obito’s strange position on the ball.

Obito glances down at the exercise ball for a moment before meeting Gai’s suspicious stare once more. His eyes flitter to Kakashi briefly before he releases a low sigh. “I decided to give it another chance.”

Gai lets out a snort, uttering _idiot_ beneath his breath before turning his attention back onto Kakashi. Obito’s shoulders slump over in relief, but he nearly slips off the ball, panic flashing through his irises for a moment as he grasps at the bouncy plastic. Kakashi lets out a little giggle at the sight until Gai oh-so delicately shoves his bouquet of roses in his face.

“For you,” Gai states with the most superficially princely smile Obito’s ever seen. “Sorry I took so long, baby. I didn’t think you’d be here so soon. I just hope Obito didn’t bore you too much while I was away.”

Obito nearly laughs out loud.

One of those ugly laughs, too.

“Oh, not at all,” Kakashi reassures Gai with a sweet smile, breathing in the scent from the roses with a slight sigh. “Obito gave me quite the warm welcome.”

“You’re too nice, Kakashi,” Gai says with a chuckle, slipping his arm around the silver-haired male’s shoulders. “Let’s do some yoga, yes?”

Kakashi nods his head, setting the roses down on the couch and heading towards the mats. “Has Obito done yoga before?”

Their eyes meet and Obito opens his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by the sound of Gai’s laughter. “He has, but he’s not very good at it.”

“Neither are you, jackass,” Obito utters, losing his balance a bit again as he glares at his roommate.

Kakashi blinks, desperation lacing his tone as he tries to speak, “Oh, well maybe he can—”

“Obito, don’t you have somewhere to go?” Gai suddenly says, sliding his arms around Kakashi’s waist with a sneer. “You don’t want to be late, do you?”

Obito is quiet for a moment, his eyes drifting from Kakashi’s look of longing to Gai’s infuriatingly smug grin. The bastard looks like he thinks he’s at the top of the world with Kakashi between his arms.

Obito slowly licks his lips, Kakashi’s taste lingering on his tongue as he recalls the way the silver-haired male moaned his name, every heated second of their little encounter spurring him with a certain sense of greed.

“Yeah…I don’t want to be late,” Obito slowly repeats as he gets up, very aware of the way Kakashi’s eyes follow his every move.

The desire in them was everything Obito needed to make his decision.

Fuck Gai. Fuck the Bro Code.

“I’ll be back later, Gai,” Obito calls out as he opens the apartment door despite the way Gai dismissively waves him off. He pauses for a moment, glancing over his shoulder and sending Kakashi a small smirk, not missing the way the silver-haired male’s lashes fluttered with yearning. “See you around, Kakashi.”

Some things are just too good to let go.

-

Obito used to consider himself a patient man. He also used to consider himself an honest person. And a good person. And a bunch of other things, but Obito has come to realize that he is in fact, none of those things.

No, actually, he’s quite a horrible person.

Strangely enough, he doesn’t give a fuck either. He doesn’t give a fuck about anything, really.

Well, he gives a bit of a fuck – but not about being a horrible person. He gives a fuck about Kakashi and his sweet ass and how Kakashi and his sweet ass are still with Gai despite everything that’s happened. Obito literally broke the Bro Code for Kakashi. He basically surrendered his rights as a Bro. It was a huge sacrifice. But what does Kakashi do for him?

Besides give him unresolved boners?

Nothing.

It’s outrageous. And Obito is beginning to lose whatever little patience he has left.

Obito just can’t understand why Kakashi won’t tell Gai the truth already. It’s extremely obvious that Kakashi isn’t interested in Gai in that way, painfully obvious, actually. The only people in the world who don’t see it are the blind and Gai’s stupid ass, and while Obito can try to spell it out for Gai, his idiot of a roommate still refuses to let Obito speak more than six words whenever he even says Kakashi’s name. As soon as Obito mentions the silver-haired male, Gai flies off on another one of his hour-long monologues about his undying love for the miracle known as Hatake Kakashi.

And whenever Obito tries to talk to Kakashi about Gai, Kakashi – that stupid minx – does just about anything else but listen. The last time Obito messaged Kakashi about telling Gai the truth, Kakashi only sent him very provocative pictures of himself in very provocative clothing, and Obito hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything other than those glorious images for the rest of the day.

Kakashi is…kind of wild. Kind of…obsessed with Obito. Not that Obito is complaining about that, no, he _loves_ that. But what he doesn’t love is Gai’s uncanny ability to cockblock him.

See, Obito loves the coy stare Kakashi gives him when they manage to get Gai to leave, but he hates the way Gai always seems to barge back in at the moment things really start to heat up. Obito loves the neediness in Kakashi’s voice as he begs for Obito’s touch, but he hates the way Kakashi says Gai’s name when that asshole inevitably returns. Obito loves the way Kakashi falls apart underneath him, but he hates the way Kakashi pushes him off as soon as they hear Gai’s stupid voice. And god, does Obito love the way Kakashi shivers when he whispers in his ear, the way Kakashi grips his shirt when Obito slides a hand up his thigh, the way Kakashi follows every one of his commands without complaint, but dear lord does Obito hate Gai for being the biggest cockblock in the world.

Not that Gai actually knows he’s cockblocking Obito but…still.

Outrageous.

Every time Obito is getting ready to bang Gai’s boyfriend into the damn ground, Gai always comes back at the perfect time to make sure that doesn’t happen. Again, not that Gai actually knows that Obito is trying to bang his boyfriend, no, Gai’s still too stupid to catch on, and sure, this entire situation’s pretty fucked up, and – Obito doesn’t really know where he’s going with this point.

Yeah. Obito knows. He’s an asshole who’s having an affair with his idiot best friend’s boyfriend, and he can’t really justify it. But honestly, Obito doesn’t give a shit. He gives more of a shit about his blue balls. And Kakashi’s.

A horrible person. Selfish and despicable.

But he’ll be a horrible person if it means getting a taste of that sweet ass.

-

The cabinets rattle as Obito pushes Kakashi up against the kitchen counter, their lips locking feverishly in the middle, a mess of tongue and teeth that renders both of them breathless, but neither really find it in themselves to care.

They know this routine well enough.

Gai leaves for one reason or another. Obito reminds him of an errand he needs to run. Kakashi asks if he could find this specific item that only Gai specifically can find. Whatever it is, Gai obliviously leaves, and all it takes is the sound of the door closing for Obito to find himself with a lapful of Kakashi.

And oh, how Kakashi’s quickly become Obito’s most favorite person in the world.

Kakashi’s hands grip desperately onto Obito’s back, unable to control the way his body shivers as Obito bathes his skin with bites and kisses. Obito savors every little taste, Kakashi dripping with a flavor so intoxicatingly sweet and spicy, his breathless moans and gasps of Obito’s name filling Obito with an obscene greed for more. He slips his knee in between Kakashi’s thighs, pushing his slender legs further apart and chuckling lowly to himself when Kakashi lets out a low moan at the spark of friction.

In their time together, Obito has gotten to know the intricate details of Kakashi’s body, almost to the point of perfection. He knows the exact curve of his hips, the exact depth of his collarbone, the exact spot to kiss to steal his breath away. All it takes is a couple words and rousing touches to unravel the ribbons around Kakashi’s soft and innocent smile, melting him into a pretty little mess trembling for more, skin pink with immeasurable lust.

“Obito,” Kakashi whimpers as he scratches at Obito’s shoulders, the helpless look in his eyes heating Obito’s blood with a rush of excitement, “touch me already…”

Obito merely hums, enjoying the sight of Kakashi’s desperation a little too much to acquiesce, suppressing his smile when Kakashi manages to give him a look of frustration through the haze. He loves seeing Kakashi like this, loves seeing the way his body searches for his touch, the silver-haired male so clearly unable to bear being on the other side of the teasing. But Obito’s musings are cut short when he feels Kakashi begin to rock against his thigh, Kakashi’s head slowly lulling back as he pleasures himself right before Obito’s hungry eyes.

Fuck, Obito thinks, swallowing thickly as Kakashi deepens his ruts, the feeling of his ass rolling against his thigh apparently enough to fully waken Obito’s cock, the straining in his jeans suddenly very desperate for attention. His hands trail from Kakashi’s waist to grip his hips instead, guiding the silver-haired male’s movements as the two press closer and closer together, their breaths becoming harsher and harsher with every slight bounce.

Kakashi fists Obito’s collar and pushes him towards the windowsill at the opposite end of the kitchen, forcing Obito to sit on its ledge as he climbs onto his lap, his legs shifting against Obito’s thighs. “Touch me,” Kakashi breathlessly says again, a bit firmer this time, a certain sharpness in his leer despite the lascivious haze that clouds his eyes. “Obito…” He doesn’t wait, grabbing one of Obito’s hands and guiding it towards his crotch, voice hitching to a slight whine when Obito purposely thrusts up against him. Obito retakes full control and slides his hands around Kakashi’s hips once more, grinding their bodies together and drowning in the sounds of Kakashi’s flurried moans.

Despite the clear pleasure brimming his lashes, Obito can see the hints of frustration lingering in Kakashi’s gaze, intensifying with every rough roll. He leans forward, pressing a lingering kiss against Kakashi’s jaw. “What’s wrong?” Obito asks him, breath hot against Kakashi’s already sensitive skin. Their eyes meet briefly, and Obito smugly indulges himself in the indignation in Kakashi’s glare. He stops moving, fingers moving to graze the hem of Kakashi’s pants, watching as Kakashi bites down on his lip in an effort to suppress a little whimper. Obito’s fingers slowly inch inward, closer and closer to the site of Kakashi’s arousal, thumbing tantalizing circles against the thin fabric as Kakashi rather desperately latches onto Obito’s arms.

“Obito!” Kakashi cries again, trying vainly to pull Obito in the right direction, but Obito only retracts his hand completely, barely hiding his amusement at the nearly devastated whine Kakashi emits at the loss of contact.

Damn, does Obito love this. Love this Kakashi. When he drops the cute and angelic act and turns into a greedy little slut, twisting and pulling at Obito’s hair, tugging him to do the dirtiest things that only Kakashi could make him do, things that Obito never even imagined himself doing only a week ago. He loves this, the arousal on Kakashi’s cheeks, so different from the small smile he gives Gai, the shy little laugh he likes to give when Gai tells him a terrible joke. This is the real Kakashi, Obito thinks. Not the oh-so innocent Kakashi that Gai likes to brag about.

A much better Kakashi.

“P-Please, Obito…” Kakashi whispers, but he doesn’t get the chance to finish his thought as Obito suddenly undoes his pants, pushing them out of the way before connecting their lips in a chaste kiss.

“So damn needy,” Obito rasps when they part, reaching down and touching Kakashi as he so desperately desired. His fingers are gentle and teasing, just barely grazing the tip of Kakashi’s cock as he listens intently to the way Kakashi’s breath quivers. Obito smirks a little as he leans in again, pressing another soft kiss against Kakashi’s lips as he thumbs the leaking slit, his free arm moving to encircle Kakashi’s waist, easily keeping Kakashi in place as the silver-haired male throws his head back in ecstasy.

“Y-Yes, Obito!” Kakashi chokes out, tears clinging to his lashes as his nails dig into Obito’s arms. “More, more, more—” Kakashi lets out another cry as Obito rubs his fingers along the brim of his shaft, Kakashi’s sensitivity for his simple touch an immense turn-on. It’s almost funny how easily Kakashi melts in his hands. Obito knows exactly what to say to bring a blush to Kakashi’s cheeks, knows exactly what to do to make his legs shake. Obito leans forward and kisses Kakashi once more, humming as Kakashi clumsily grips at his hair, lips eagerly parting in invitation.

 _Honestly,_ Obito wonders, _how did I get so lucky?_ Obito thought that Gai had been lucky when he scored a date with one of the prettiest guys Obito’s ever seen, but really, luck was on Obito’s side when it somehow tricked Kakashi into liking him instead. Obito doesn’t even know what he did to deserve this – in fact, Obito’s pretty sure he doesn’t deserve this at all. But he won’t complain, of course. Every minute spent with Kakashi’s lips on his is another minute he treasures.

Kakashi’s fingers find their way to the buttons of Obito’s shirt, desperation clear in the way he clumsily picks them apart. Obito lets go of Kakashi’s member to wrap the silver-haired male’s legs around his hips, arms supporting Kakashi carefully around the waist as Obito lifts him up and carries him onto the nearby counter. They share kiss after kiss as they settle, each one more fervent than the last, Kakashi’s hands touching every inch of Obito’s exposed skin as Obito spreads Kakashi’s legs apart and settles in between.

“Hurry,” Kakashi whispers as Obito coaxes him to lie back against the counter, swallowing when Obito pushes his shirt up and begins to trail kisses down his torso. Obito ignores the quiet word in favor of savoring every bit of skin he can, nose nuzzling into the softness of Kakashi’s stomach, fingers dancing along the inner surfaces of Kakashi’s thighs. “Obito,” Kakashi tries again, and Obito only hums in response, the sound sending soft vibrations across Kakashi’s skin. “B-Before Gai comes back…” Kakashi manages to say through the tingles of pleasure, but Obito pauses, eyes darkening at the very mention of his best friend.

Obito moves away, staring blankly down at Kakashi sprawled against the counter, eyes trailing from the pink of his cheeks to his kiss-bitten lips. He absorbs the sight of the light marks on Kakashi’s neck, the delicate rise and fall of his chest, the little pearls of desire dripping from the tip of his cock. And that stare, that clouded stare filled with so much need and lust, directed only to Obito, reserved only for Obito.

Gai could only dream of seeing Kakashi like this, of seeing Kakashi so desperate and ready for him. Part of Obito wishes that Gai will come in, will walk in and catch them in the middle of the act, to have Gai barge in just as Kakashi cries out Obito’s name, to see the look in Gai’s eyes when he finds out that his sweet little boyfriend is anything but what he thinks he is.

“Gai,” Obito utters the cursed name, voice bitterly laced with derision as he withdraws a small bottle of lube from Kakashi’s jeans pocket. Kakashi blinks as Obito hovers over him, faces only centimeters apart, his eyes meekly meeting Obito’s own intense stare. “And what if he does come back?” Obito questions him quietly, his breath ghosting over Kakashi’s lips. “What are you going to do?” 

Kakashi parts his lips as if to speak but immediately shuts his eyes as Obito presses their lower halves together, a soft mewl rolling off his tongue when the rough fabric of Obito’s jeans rubs against the tender heat of his bare skin.

“Are you going to call out his name?” Obito whispers against his lips, savoring the way Kakashi trembles underneath him. “Greet him at the door? Ask him how his day was and then kiss him with the same lips you like to suck me off with?”

“N-No,” Kakashi forces himself to say, but the way Obito’s fingers begin to trail along his thighs has his mind slipping from his grasp. “…I… _please,_ Obito.” The desperation and conflict in Kakashi’s voice is almost addicting, filling Obito with a lust for more. It looks as if Kakashi’s caught in between, unable to respond nor understand Obito’s words through the haze.

“Please? Please what?” Obito goads, hands moving inwards and lifting Kakashi’s hips, fingers pressing against the flesh of his ass. “Please fuck you like your boyfriend can’t? Fuck you until you forget his stupid name?” He slips a lube-coated finger into Kakashi’s hole, barely blinking at the way Kakashi arches at the sudden intrusion. Kakashi lets out a soft cry and something incoherent, clearly far too invested in Obito’s touch to care for his words. “How would Gai react if he saw you like this?” Obito growls as he adds another finger, watching hungrily as Kakashi begins to rock back against the digits. “All dirty and wet, so desperate for another man?”

Kakashi opens his eyes, dazedly meeting Obito’s, expression completely lost to pleasure. “Obito…”

Obito kisses him quickly. “Think he’d still call you his baby?” he utters when he pulls away, pressing a third finger in and curling them at once, watching hungrily as Kakashi convulses beneath him. “His sweet and innocent little Kakashi?” He digs his fingers in deep before pulling out at a torturously slow pace, purposely scraping at Kakashi’s tight walls, fully aware of his effect on Kakashi’s sanity.

“God, Obito!” Kakashi cries out, “Please just fuck me!” His hands frantically grasp for anything on the counter, but he only manages to knock a nearby box of cereal onto the ground. Obito lets out a dark laugh, retracting his hand and unzipping his own pants, Kakashi’s breaths heightening with anticipation.

The sound of the front door opening snaps the two out of their trance, a low whistle that can only be coming from none other than Gai echoing throughout the apartment. Kakashi’s eyes immediately widen as he pushes himself up from the counter, Obito too dumbfounded to properly react when Kakashi nudges him away.

All of the heat that collected between them suddenly disperses, and whatever control Obito had over Kakashi disappears. He splutters for words when Kakashi moves past him, unable to hide the incredulity in his eyes. 

“Wait!” Obito grabs Kakashi by the wrist, stopping him from collecting his clothes off the ground, Kakashi staring back at him in slight panic. For a moment, Obito forgets what he was going to say, the sight of Kakashi’s nudity a little too distracting even if the man had just been naked and underneath him only a few seconds ago. 

“What are you doing? Let go of me!” Kakashi whisper-shouts, clearly flustered when he notices where Obito had been staring. “He’s going to see us—”

Ah, Obito finally remembers what he was going to say. He blinks back into reality, forcing himself to maintain eye contact with Kakashi as his grip on his wrist tightens. “No,” Obito says, ignoring the agitated look that Kakashi gives him. “I want to tell him the truth.”

“Is now really the best time to tell him?” Kakashi snaps as he tugs himself out of Obito’s hold and retrieves his clothes, using them to cover his lower half. “Gai thinks I’m out of town! I’m not even supposed to be here right now! Let alone with my ass out! He’ll have a heart attack if he sees us like this—”

“Then when are we going to tell him?” Obito demands to know, unable to hide his own irritation as he watches Kakashi clumsily try to pull his clothes back on. “The longer this keeps going, the harder it’ll be to—”

“Obito, you won’t believe what happened to me at work today!” Gai shouts from the hallway, laughter trailing at the end of his sentence. “That little intern Tenzo spilled coffee all over the damn copier!”

“We don’t have time for this!” Kakashi hisses, stepping away when Obito tries to reach for him once more. But Kakashi’s eyes soften when he sees the defeat in Obito’s expression, and he quickly returns, pressing a quick kiss against Obito’s lips. “We’ll tell him but not today, okay? What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?” he says, something akin to affection in his eyes despite the shadiness of his words, and Obito blinks as Kakashi gently brushes his hair back. “Don’t worry about it.”

Obito shakes his head, unwilling to accept that for an answer. “This isn’t right, Kakashi—” Kakashi only hushes him, giving another quick kiss before opening one of the lower cabinets of the kitchen counter and crawling inside. Obito’s jaw drops in bewilderment, dumbfounded as he watches a twenty-two year old male disappear into one of his kitchen cabinets like it was nothing.

How the fuck is that even possible?

Obito barely has time to ponder the mystery further as Gai’s loud and cheery voice enters the room, his roommate blubbering on about whatever the new intern at his workplace managed to fuck up this time. Obito doesn’t even bother to fix his shirt or his appearance in general, merely turning back around and meeting Gai’s startled and confused stare with a tired one of his own.

Obito heaves a sigh. “Sup,” he utters.

Gai seems to scrutinize Obito for a bit before glancing around the kitchen, noticing the spilled box of cereal on the ground and Obito’s unzipped pants. “…Why do you look like that?” Gai asks him, an eyebrow up in what is probably concern, considering the fact that Obito looks like he just crawled out from beneath a bus.

Obito glances back at the closed and silent cabinet with a low sigh. “I went out for a run.”

Gai narrows his eyes. “With your shirt ripped open?”

“…Yeah.”

“…And a boner?”

Obito slowly looks down, his clothed dick so kindly greeting him back. “……Yeah…”

Gai stares at him for a moment before letting out an amused scoff. He clicks his tongue as he walks by Obito’s hunched figure and opens the fridge. “Didn’t think you’d be so desperate that a jog could turn you on, Uchiha Obito,” he airily says, somehow accepting Obito’s obvious lies as an answer. Obito isn’t even surprised at this point. He’s just tired. “You need to get laid.”

Obito lets out another low sigh, smile thin as he bitterly zips his pants back up. “You’re telling me.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you still decided to read this fic despite the warning, please don't take it seriously lol


End file.
